Nirmala Seshadri
5 September, 2020
It's hard to imagine life without the mobile phone.
For those of us who spent our childhood and teenage years without it, there were challenges. Receiving calls from friends wasn't as easy - the house phone would ring and anyone in the family could answer it, and there would be no privacy while speaking. Later cordless phones stepped in, which helped a little.There was no text messaging until pagers became a thing and I think I was already in my later 20s by then.
So however new and unfamiliar the mobile phone was initially, for most of us it was a welcome entrant into our lives. And it totally changed the game. It began to follow us everywhere, out of the house and into loo too. The constant companion. We started realising that we could live without a human companion, but not without the little phone! It has become the essential presence.
It has also become intrusive.
Systems of surveillance aside, I find the phone can prevent us from finishing things - a word, a thought, an action. It is impossible to think of focussing for an hour or two on something without the interruption from WhatsApp or that urge to check Facebook. And for some of us, both these platforms are on our desktops as well. Ping, Ping, Post, Post, Video, Photo, News, Terrible News, Joke, HAHA. Oh someones saying something on the chat group... should I respond now? Later? and now, someone else has texted.
A total overstimulation in terms of information and communication on multiple levels. And yet, it also cuts us off from the immediate space. As adults, we meet friends or family for a meal but constantly look at our phones. And what does it mean when children who step out for a meal can only engage with their iPads? I have seen couples in restaurants who are sitting across one another but looking at their respective phones. Not a word exchanged, not a glance.
I do worry about where we're all headed. Especially given that this Covid situation is demanding that we engage with our screens even more.
Is it possible to put the phones away and set some timings for picking them up? And no cheating with the desktop... computers are for longer stretch work only, and not for checking WhatsApp messages. But what about the emails? How about we not look at those constantly? Maybe every 2 hours?
I don't know if this can be resolved. I do realise it can't be a one size fits all solution. But maybe it's just time to become aware of how detrimental these devices can be, even as they have their benefits. Research shows that being glued to our phones can affect affect the brain as well as our sleep. Perhaps what is needed is a mindful approach to all of this.
It may benefit us to give ourselves digital detox time everyday. Perhaps we can punctuate the day with brief moments of respite eg:
1) step out for a little walk without any gadget
2) definitely do not take them into the bathroom (treat shower time as detox time)
3) keep them out of the kitchen and enjoy food preparation time (unless we need to refer to a recipe)
3) at meal time, keep them far away from the dining table to keep focussed on food, the act of eating and conversation with people who might be present
4) practice a sport or recreational activity, keeping the phone out of the activity
5) practice yoga or any mind-body activity that helps draw the awareness inward
And finally here's the night time separation-from-phone ritual that has worked for me:
1. Firstly, I bought myself a 'no tick tock' alarm clock from IKEA. (I remember watching Simon Sinek's video some time ago on this)
2. I set my phone to "Do Not Disturb" from 11pm to 7am.
3. Then I selected some Favourites in my phone contact list - people who I know will reach out to me in case of an emergency and whose calls will come through
4. I say Good Night to my phone and place it outside my bedroom or in a drawer in my bedroom.
And that's it. This separation-from-phone ritual provides me a nice long 7 to 8 hour break from it.
I'm sure each of us will have our own unique ways of keeping the gadgets out, but a first step would be to feel the need for this time away. The rest will follow.