Nirmala Seshadri
August 17, 2020
At a time like this when all of the world has been plunged into change and unpredictability, it could help to anchor oneself through some daily rituals.
At a recent Microsoft event, Ambica Saxena (executive coach & head of YSC Southeast Asia) spoke on the need for rituals in the current work-from-home scenario. “Boundaries, specific times at which you start and end work - it’s all in the rituals.” Saxena stressed on the role of rituals in signalling clearly to oneself and others, the opening and closing of the work day. She highlighted additional rituals that have been helping those in business, such as ensuring there are breaks from interaction as well as scheduling “walking meetings” to make sure one isn’t glued to the chair all day!
Watching the interview on twitter got me thinking about daily rituals in general. We have all been engaged in rituals in some form or the other (consciously or unconsciously), right from childhood. Brushing teeth is the first thing that comes to mind. Without ending up becoming robotic, what would it mean to punctuate the day with activities that meaningfully lead us into the next phase of the day?
Most people I talk to tell me that they find it much easier to develop a morning routine. Here I am referring to my work of introducing conscious breathing and moving into people’s daily lives. It’s the nights that become challenging. “If only I could get to bed early….I’m really ill disciplined at night” etc etc etc.
By the evening, the weight of the day seems to hang over us. Something presses us down to become those inert, immobile objects on the couch! Perhaps it is the unfinished business of the day that makes us feel it isn't time yet to retire. Or could it be a natural sense of gloom that creeps in with the evening as the natural light starts to recede?
I am aware that various cultures usher in the evening with special spiritual ceremonies. The elaborate sunset and also sunrise Arati ceremonies are performed everyday by the banks of the Ganges River in India. The sun has been worshipped for centuries around the world in Egypt, Greece, Persia, Middle East and Asia. In Native American culture too, the sun is considered a life force and some tribes perform a Sun Dance every year in celebration.
For people who enjoy experiencing the setting sun, engaging in or even devising some form of a ritual around it might be one way of welcoming the close of day. Nature has its own way of showing up to provide a sense of structure. How powerful it is to harmonise oneself with these daily natural events.
The dinner time ritual is probably one which can also mark the beginning of the night. Whether we are living with people or not, it could be helpful to create a ritual around this act of eating - right from preparing a good nutritious meal, to turning on some music, softening the lighting, lighting a candle, and sitting down to eat in a relaxed way ….. This entire process could signal the transition into the space of night. This makes me think of what it might have been like in pre-electricity times - oil lamps, kerosene lamps and all, that might have been turned on just long enough to get some activities done and then I’m imagining one would just retire to bed.
I personally have found that it’s the post-dinner activity that determines what time I make it into my bedroom. Reading, chatting with a friend or going for a short stroll are short and sweet activities that ensure I get to bed at a decent hour. Binging on Netflix or opening the laptop to work on something that didn't get done during the day, these just kill the night. There is a time to get to the bedroom. When we were young, we would be told to “go to bed!”. And also, in those days there were no mobile phones. I think the phones are doing us in. Keeping us connected to the world and disconnected from ourselves, and endlessly. (I’ll focus on mobile phones in another post). Perhaps turning on some soft music in the bedroom, reading in bed or any other bedroom centric ritual would be helpful.
As I speak about the need for rituals, I also keep in mind Indian philosopher J. Krishnamurti who talked about the stagnation that could arise from getting trapped in habits & routines. Understanding the distinction between a habit, routine and ritual, could help in holding up the meaning, purpose and mindful engagement associated with a ritual.
So here's my suggestion for a set of night time rituals and ones that have worked for me:
At sunset, step out for a walk in nature or if indoors, stand/sit by a window to have a glimpse of the outdoors. Either way, inhale the energy of the sun, exhale gratitude (I mean yes, for being able to walk in the first place, having a window to gaze out from, and all else)
Breathing exercises and some relaxing stretches
Prepare a healthy dinner and sit down comfortably to eat it. Lighting the candle on my dining table and playing some soft music before I start eating, always calms me down
Have an after-dinner conversation or stroll with someone whose company I enjoy, or watch one episode of something light-hearted on tv
Get to the bedroom at a decent time. Turn on soft lighting, maybe light an aromatherapy candle. Play some soft chants. Do some gentle stretches in bed. Do a nighttime meditation.
If I'm not sleepy yet, reading meditation! Read a chapter and let the book get me relaxed and to sleep
Practice breathing exercises for 5 minutes or so
Remember to put the phone outside on the dining table - this is the separation-from-phone ritual :)
SLEEP
Nirmala Seshadri is a breath & movement expert, dance artist and researcher. She is the creator of the ANTARIKA® therapeutic movement system.